It has almost been a month since I finished my one-year mission outreach in Japan and it seems as if it was a long time ago. So I would think that my “post-mission-syndrome” was definitely over, but I apparently was wrong. I love being back home, but there is just so many things that I experienced and felt that I can’t even express in words…so how am I supposed to share about it or let it out? I find the more I sit and think about these things by myself, I slowly drift back into my old ways and tendencies, and that I can say… is not a pleasant place to be.
I am different now, I need to hone all the experiences into the way I speak, think, and live. I’m not this little kid anymore who has been stuck in this Southern California bubble all his life, but I am someone that has been out in the world to do God’s work.
Maybe there are some things that I am still holding onto that I don’t want to let go? If so, from today, I want to throw it out and move forward not go back in the past. I even cleaned and threw away stuff in my room that reminded me of the past. Not that they were bad things, but because they were holding me back from changing into someone better.
I’m trying things that I normally wouldn’t do or would think about doing, but not do it and I’m glad I did. I’ve got to meet new people, get to know people I barely knew, and just enjoy being in company with different people. I originally thought that if I came back to America, I wouldn’t be as lonely as I was in Japan—but I was totally wrong. I am stuck at home in the middle of nowhere and not having the convenience of people being in the next room over to talk or hang out. I want to find people who will actually, honestly speaking, check to see how I’m doing once in a while.. The only calls I get or email’s I receive are either from my mom or people asking me for things. Maybe I just pity myself, but it really does get lonely over here in Fontana… haha. It’s just the wind and me.
Or this time could be for me to be alone with God? I don’t know but I hope that I figure something out soon! I need to move on—which doesn’t mean to forget everything, but to keep that and seal it in my heart and move to where God will lead me next, but I must not be idle.
Please keep me in your prayers, I still haven’t processed everything, but I know now that it takes more than a couple of weeks…Also, I will be giving a testimony during my service this Sunday, so to prepare well for that too! Alright, time to go do something… !!
My buddy Andrew Figueroa Chiang is going on tour in the East Coast! Good luck!~
Check out his stuff, just released his EP not too long ago! Support~ yeeaahhh~
